Bob Turns 21, Kicks Me & Plants a Tree

(Bob, 21 weeks) 

Bob is not only 21 weeks, but Bob is “a mover & a shaker.” Bob kicks me periodically throughout the day and though it cannot be felt from the outside, my insides are quite aware. I’d suspected that I’d felt Bob much earlier in my pregnancy – definitely in the 1^st trimester – but having nothing to compare it to, I didn’t want to declare it with such confidence (esp since it would come and go throughout the week, not a daily occurrence.)  But now, I know the little effervescence  & tiny pulses were Bob…violent, violent Bob. During every ultrasound, I was able to see Bob moving and at my 20 week appointment where the doctor merely listens to EVERYTHING (no "inside view), she was able to detect Bob’s movements and commented, “Wow, your baby is really active!” Greg is excited about being able to share in this soon and so far our little Tupelo remains unfazed by my growing belly/shrinking lap.

In news unrelated to Bob, we finally began “doing something” with the front yard (a feat I can only imagine makes our neighbors sigh with relief as opposed to impatience.) Here are some pics. The “before” pic is our Christmas card pic from 12/11. Although our changes are slight & have obviously not filled in (as we just planted them yesterday), you can get an idea of what we’re going for. We (aka Greg) removed an unidentified bush and we (again, Greg) planted 3 salvias, a kangaroo paw, an echium & a Hawaiian plum tree. Keep your fingers crossed our thumbs are green.

(front yard, before, Dec. '11)

(front yard, during)

(Greg takes out the last of that annoying shrub. Used a pickaxe AND his sawzall) 

(ya know, plants)

(front yard, after)

Bob, 20 Weeks and No Sex...

...No, no, no, not THAT sex. "No Sex" as in "No Gender."

(silly shirts for 20 week pic)

Oh, Bob has a gender, we just don’t know what it is. By choice. Much has been made about this decision, which I’ll admit, I find somewhat surprising. Although I completely understand why people would want to or choose to know their fetus’s gender before the birth, Greg & I have said for years that we wouldn’t want to know. And it’s not just to keep it a surprise. Though, that IS part of it. Truth is, it’s a pleasant surprise for those that find out ahead of time as well. It’s not as if they are told the gender during an ultrasound & think, “Well, this sucks.” Or go through labor and are told “It’s a boy!” and think, “Yeah, yeah, I already knew that. Whatever.” But as an adult, life gives me so few of the kinds of experiences where you feel fear & excitement & pain & intense joy & elation & SURPRISE, all at once, that having that moment seems like a gift.

But that’s not the only reason. Right now, Bob is the safest s/he will ever be – inside me, protected by all that my growing belly has to offer. Once Bob’s out, there are going to be innumerable things that I won’t be able to protect Bob from. And many things that I shouldn’t protect Bob from. But right now, that’s all I’m doing – growing a healthy Bob & protecting him/her. One of those things is the stereotype & expectation of gender label. Although innocently done, when people say “I won’t know what to buy the baby if I don’t know the gender. It would be easier for people if we knew what you were having.” what they want to do is make decisions for Bob based on gender. And it’s unnecessary. Immediately when people learn a baby’s gender, they begin to make decisions based on this one piece of information: What a baby should wear, what color a baby should like, what toys a baby prefers, what decorations are best for the baby, what names are best for the baby, what the baby’s personality should be, etc. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but Bob will have her/his WHOLE life to deal with that type of expectation (it’s seemingly unending as society has still not decided a person’s worth. Politicians are constantly debating a woman’s worth. And in many states, women seem to be losing this debate.) Right now, Bob is free from all of that – just a perfect little ball of love, a blank slate, no preference, pressure nor expectation, just capable of all things big and small, pink and blue.

(20 week pic)

Bob, 19 Weeks and Counting

(19 week pic, Bob weighs approx. 11 oz)

Here is a pic of Bob from the outside world...growing bigger everyday. I'm still wearing my "regular clothes", but maternity clothes shopping is clearly right around the corner. I currently weigh in at 116 lbs, more than the most I've ever weighed by quite a few pounds. So, from here on out, it's party time! I'm finding my new largeness to be quite entertaining & find myself laughing out loud every time I look down & instead of only seeing boobs & toes, I see boobs & belly (no more toes, I have small feet.) Still feeling good, though I definitely have the 2nd trimester absentmindedness (which Greg is thrilled about & chuckles, "Ha, now you know what it's like to be me!" Yeah and I don't like it.)

I had my genetic counseling & 2nd trimester ultrasound today & everything looked great. All my testing has come back negative & all the bloodwork shows an extreme low chance of genetic abnormalities (which means I do not need amniocentesis.) The average chance of a healthy 20 year old giving birth to a baby with Down Syndrome is around 1 in 2500. My tests came back at 1 in 4300. I also learned that not knowing my genetic history b/c I'm adopted is not an issue because Koreans carry a history of zero genetic abnormalities. But, oh you whiteys, whew! So, IF IF IF Bob develops a genetic abnormality, blame Greg & his whitey mongrel blood.

During the ultrasound, the doctor was able to check the heart, blood flow, spine, limbs, head, brain, placenta, fluids, cord, kidneys, eyes, ears, lips & nose (to which the doctor said, "Oh, your baby has such a cute little nose!") Bob was particularly camera shy during the peepshow & kept using his/her arms to cover her/his face:

Once home, I decided it was time to bid farewell to the belly ring. I got it around 15 years ago with my friend, Kelly and have never ever taken it out. It's the end of an era (and it turns out I'm left with a creepy hole above my navel, but whatever. There are worse things.) Here's the "before & after":

So, that's the current Bob update. Hope you enjoyed it! XOXO